The way I talk to my friends has changed. We all live disparate lives, connected only by the (hopefully more than)occasional ping of a Whatsapp message, a Skype call or a Facebook notification. More than one important friend has moved away from Singapore, some for longer periods than others. I don't think I'll ever get over the sterility of re-connecting with someone with a glass screen for a mediator. But I will learn to make do. This is the way we live now and I think it is going to be the way I communicate with those I love in the future. If we all want to travel the world and do all that we want to do, or if we want to stay home in Singapore and do everything we want to, then the glass screens are here to stay and unfortunately replace in-person conversations.
I have had so many new experiences this new semester and tried so many new things, my younger self would be proud. In fact my current self is proud. This semester I have worked harder than I ever thought I was capable of. As hard as it humanly possible to work without compromising my health, that is how hard I have been working.
And from this I have learnt one important thing: Look at what you can achieve when you give yourself a chance.
Of course there are as many bad nights as there are moments of great pride. But as I told someone today, it was always gets better in the morning.
I've always felt a sense of dissatisfcation; a kind of middle-class, in-between-y, discontent that lurks at the periphery of my consciousness.
But now I choose hope. And when I can't be hopeful, I remind myself to be hopeful again as soon as I can.
I used to want to be someone that the people around me respect, but now I truly respect myself and that has proven to be far better.