So tis pre-crunch time again. Which in some ways is worse than the actual crunch time because anticipaton and anxiety are the mothers of misery. On top of that settling into a new routine is actually very stressful. I've always thought of myself as an independent woman. I have my own circle of amazing friends and my own goals and passions that have kept me busy. Which is why I was surprised by how upset I was when G flew off to the UK. And my closer friends will know that it is pretty much all I've spoken to them about in the past week because I suppose that is the way I cope with things that weigh on my mind. The thing is, when talking to someone regularly is a primary activity, altering that routine can be very devastating. Brenee Brown says the reason we live is for connection and I really feel the effects of perceived disconnection greatly.
One week on and I already see myself settling into this new communication routine. I'm confident it'll all be okay, and you know that I don't say that easily. I have found some ways to help me cope with everything in and out of life better. Practise Gratitude.
I have to be honest, I would say that fundamentally I am a pessimist. And for many years I was not conscious of how much this was destroying my quality of life. I also know that I am an anxious person, probably more so than most people and this really affects the way I go about my life every day.
That's why it's become really important for me to practise being grateful every single day. I try think about the things that I'm grateful for and really appreciate them when I'm commuting usually. The other most common time I do this is when I can't sleep at night because I'm worrying a lot. This happens so often that I've long stopped complaining about it. I've simply learnt to accept that I have to go to bed earlier than most of my peers would, because it's gonna take me a while to fall asleep. I've found that when I practise gratitude right before I sleep, I find that many times I am so soothed that I fall right asleep.
Practising gratitude and making it a habit has made the world a kinder place in my eyes.
I still complain, and I complain A LOT. But i've realised it's not complaining that annoys other people. It's complaining without having a sense of hopefulness and also without viewing things with a sense of humour that really makes someone not so fun to be around.
Practising gratitude has really helped me to learn not to work so hard at school, to work harder on my writing, to work hard at keeping the people who are important to me close and to work hard at taking care of my body and not just my mind. I've honestly never worked as hard as I have right now on keeping my whole self healthy and this is probably the most fulfilled I've been in a while.
On days or nights when I find it difficult to find things to be grateful for, I remember that to feel this insecure and vulnerable is to be alive and human, and then I try my best to be grateful for that.